VOL. CXLII NO. 42,891
ESTABLISHED 1884 — SKELFLEET, NORTH LINCOLNSHIRE
PRICE: SIXPENCE (60p)

WEATHER & TIDES
Drizzle, persistent; cold easterly breeze across marshes; mild disappointment by 4 PM.
NORTH LINCOLNSHIRE EDITION

THE GAZETTEER

Skelfleet's Independent Newspaper
OUR MOTTO
"Veritas in Luto"
(Truth in the Mud)

COMMUNITY DISPATCHES

A complete chronological record of all reports, incidents, and dispatches filed under Community.

Mystery Cat Appears in Post Office for Fourth Consecutive Tuesday

Sub-postmaster denies rumours that the ginger feline has been appointed Assistant Sorting Officer.
BY: Stan SmithDISPATCH: Sunday, 27th September 2026 at 16:20LENGTH: 196 WORDS (1 MIN READ)

Speculation continues to grow in Skelfleet following the periodic appearance of a large ginger cat at the counter of the High Street Post Office every Tuesday morning between nine and eleven o'clock. ...

Skelfleet & District Flower Show Plunged into Chaos by Unidentified Marrow

Judges inspect 48lb specimen following anonymous tip-off regarding artificial nitrogen enrichment.
BY: Penelope PenneDISPATCH: Saturday, 26th September 2026 at 14:00LENGTH: 254 WORDS (2 MIN READ)

The 94th Annual Skelfleet & District Horticultural Show descended into acrimony on Saturday afternoon after the winning entry in the Heavy Vegetables category was impounded by the judging committee. ...

St. Jude's Weather Vane Jammed at East; Parish Braces for Perpetual Breeze

Churchwarden Mr Higgins advises parishioners to keep their coats buttoned until steeplejacks arrive next month.
BY: Penelope PenneDISPATCH: Wednesday, 23rd September 2026 at 15:10LENGTH: 263 WORDS (2 MIN READ)

Hello, good people of Skelfleet. A quick byline to explain, I sometimes fill in as a reporter when the rest of the team are busy. I hope you don't mind! A mechanical malfunction atop the spire of St....

Phantom Bell-Ringer of Lower Marsh Identified as Escaped Goat

Villagers express relief as midnight chime mystery resolved without recourse to the bishop or parish exorcist.
BY: Stan SmithDISPATCH: Tuesday, 22nd September 2026 at 19:45LENGTH: 182 WORDS (1 MIN READ)

A week of sleepless nights and whispers of supernatural intervention in Skelfleet Marsh came to an end on Monday night when the "Phantom Bell-Ringer" of St. Jude's belfry was apprehended. Skeptical v...